Butterflies
by WhitneyMcDonald
Summary: Jen Gilmore is missing Tilly Evans, though out of pure chance and luck. She unexpectedly bumps into Tilly, what will happen. Will carry it on...
1. Chapter 1

**My first Jelly fic, hope I got them right. Enjoy! Might continue it, depends. **

Butterflies

Jen Gilmore never really expected to fall in love with her student Tilly Evans though she did and she cannot help the way that she feels. She just come out of a long-term relationship when she met her, though Tilly kept putting a smile on her face. She loves her still, even after she was forced to leave. She was let out on caution, living back with her brother Liam. Not much changed, she still got those feelings for Tilly. By the time she left, she almost lost who was she truly was. Though after a break from the village, she is back to the Jen who first entered Hollyoaks.

As she was up quite late at night, painting. Her mind could not rest, nor could her body. As all her thoughts were blocking her mind and the heat was almost unbearable. So here she was in the spare room, painting the moonlight sky. She painted with just carefulness, trying to improve the painting.

She went to bed at around three, later then usual. Though sometimes she likes to get up early and watch the sun rise. Though not this time, she did not have enough sleep as it is. She fell asleep, dreaming about something that she couldn't remember. She only remembers being on a beach, kind of like the beach where herself and Tilly shared their first, passionate kiss.

She woke up at eleven in the morning. As she quickly got changed, feeling slightly tired still as she rubbed her eyes. Her brother Liam was eating a packet of cheese and onion flavored _Walker's _crisp. She was still half asleep, as she yawned.

"What time did you go to bed last night?" Liam asked her, as bits of crisp when on his beard which he will have to shave of later.

"I don't know; around three, I couldn't get to sleep for ages" Jen told him, sitting on the stool which was opposite her brother.

As she put her hand under her chin, thinking about her job. She works in the local corner shop now, is not allowed to be a teacher anymore. That disappoints her, she loves teaching and now the law has taken it away from her, snatched away the thing she loves doing.

"No wonder your still tired" Liam answered his sister, he felt kind of bad for her. Even if he does think she deserves it for being so 'stupid' and thinking she could away with dating one of her pupils.

"I'm going out for a walk" Jen told him, as she put on her shoes.

No coat, the weather was too hot to wear a coat. As she walked out, in her flower patterned knee length-dress and black high heels. She needed to wake herself up, as the wind hit her face as she carried on walking.

She needs to clear her head, though she thinks that is impossible. Since she was sure that Tilly hates her now, after what happened with Esther Bloom. She walks around some more, until walking into where she works.

Going behind the counter as her boss passes her, her uniform. She goes round the back to change and then goes back behind the counter. Her life has become an almost endless charade of putting money in a till and all she can hear all day is Beep! Beep! Beep! Get's annoying after a while.

She looks up, to find the girl who she still misses. As Tilly rushes out, not knowing she worked there. It was only out of chance that she went to that shop. She was on her way to Liverpool and just passed by.

"Tilly" Jen called, not believing her eyes. Tilly stopped half-way down the road, as she heard Jen rushing over to her. Her work-mate was not impressed, as Jen left the counter empty.

"I didn't know you worked there" Tilly speaks, not knowing what else to say. She was lost for words and seeing Jen was last thing she expected to happen today.

"Yeah, I can't go back to teaching" Jen breathed, looking into Tilly's beautiful eyes.

Tilly shook her head, as she set of again.

"You know even without us having a relationship then you still shouldn't have been allowed back into teaching, I can't forgive you for what you done to Esther" Tilly replied with her arms crossed.

"I'm not asking you to" Jen replied, with a sigh.

"I really need to get going and this shouldn't have happened; if they find out you been talking to me again then you get more than just a caution" Tilly reminded her, Jen nodded. She knew Tilly was right.

"I know but I missed you" Jen told her, Tilly sighed. She couldn't help but understand. She missed her too, she just didn't show it. Besides she likes Esther and cares for her, to an extent she loves Esther but not the same way. Not the butterflies in your stomach kind of way.

"We can't be together Jen; don't you understand" Tilly answered, as she looked over at her again. Looking at Jen, who seemed remorseful for her actions.

"I understand, I just wish I didn't" Jen looked down on her hands, as she longed for Tilly again. Longed to kiss her lips.

"You find somebody else; look I'm with Esther now, were happy; maybe you should do the same thing" Tilly's heart was not entirely in it.

"I can't Tilly; I'm only ever truly happy with you" Jen admitted, as she looked up again. Tilly felt those familiar butterflies.

"I'm sorry" Tilly breathed, though what could she possibly say? She will never forgive Jen but that doesn't mean she stopped loving her. Because she does still love her, very much so.

It was a spur of the moment though Tilly kissed her in the middle of the street for ten seconds then backed away. As she felt terrible, she just so much as cheated on Esther. Esther was still fragile, Frankie Osborne was right. She was going to break her heart if she ever found out.

Though that short kiss was just so pleasuring, though she felt guilty for being pleasured about it. Jen seemed shocked at the unexpected kiss too, though for different reasons.

"That shouldn't have happened; I need to go" Tilly was slightly shaking, as she walked away. With Jen walking behind her.

"I love you Tilly and I know you love me back; I can feel it" Jen answered, as she grabbed gently onto her hand. Tilly surprisingly didn't let go, it felt right. Jen's hand held onto her's.

"I do but we can't be together; it's forbidden and I just cheated on poor Esther; I can't do this to her, you knew how fragile she was" Tilly looked into her eyes, feeling drawn back into them.

"Yeah I do, but it's not fair on her to be with someone who doesn't love her" Jen told her.

"I do love her" Tilly was cut of.

"But you're not infatuated with her" Jen insisted, as she held onto both of Tilly's hands now. She could feel it in her heart that Tilly loved her just as much as she loved Tilly. Which was bucket loads.

"I know" Tilly and Jen kissed again, though broke away soon after. As Tilly realized, she was still in love with Jen Gilmore.

_Fin_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews :)**

They exchanged numbers again before Tilly had to go. Jen was on her mind all the way home, as she sat on the train. Looking at her number, she was so tempted to call her. Though resisted, putting her phone back in her pocket.

As she looked out the window, as they were just tree's and back garden's to look at. The usual things you see on a train journey. If you have ever went on a North Western train journey, then you know exactly what to expect.

She doesn't know how she can lie to Esther, she doesn't want to hurt her on purpose. That would be the last thing she would want though she doesn't want to lie to her either. Jen was not going to be mentioned though maybe Tilly will have to break it of now before things escalate into something deeper, after that brief encounter with Jen than sex with Esther will be of the table.

It seems like a while though the train stops, as she walks to the door. Relieved as some handsome looking man in his twenties has been staring at her for most of the journey and she is not interested obviously. As she quickly makes her exit, rushing up the stairs and down the other stairs which led out of the train station.

Walking towards the bus stop, next bus will be here in about three minutes. So she sits down waiting, which is when her phone goes of. She quickly takes it out and is brought back down to Earth when it's Esther ringing. Of cause it is.

_"Hiya" Tilly says, doing her best bubbly tone._

_"Hi, I was just calling to see when you will be back" Esther replied, biting her top lip. As Ruby Button walks past her._

_"I'm on my way home now, I'll be there in about twenty minutes; I'm just at the bus stop" Tilly replied, as she looked down the road to see that it wasn't here yet as expected._

_"Alright, well I guess I leave you to it" Esther smiled nervously, despite of Tilly not being able to see her smile._

_"Yeah, by Esther" Tilly went to put it down._

_"Okay, love you" Esther answered. Tilly hesitated._

_"Love you too" Tilly breathed, as she heard Esther put the phone down._

As Tilly once again put her phone back in her pocket. Waiting for the bus to come, about a minute later. It arrived and stopped as she stood up. Getting on the bus, as she paid the bus-driver the money and sitting in one of the seats.

Looking out the window, the bus trip takes around eight minutes, maybe ten. For most of her time spent in Liverpool turned from a shopping spree to talking to Jen. She talked to Jen for the rest of the trip, in some backstreet cafe. As Jen kept saying sorry and how she never wanted to hurt her or Esther.

Like the train, it stopped when Tilly was in the middle of her deep thoughts, as the bus was in Hollyoaks. As she stood up and walked out of the vehicle; she waved when she seen her two friends George Smith and Phoebe McQueen. Well Phoebe was sort of friend.

"I thought you went to Liverpool" George spoke with a smile, as he walked over. Wearing his usual bright clothes and his usual jolly demeanor. Well Phoebe was wearing her usual dark clothing and moody demeanor. They were verging on becoming complete polar opposites.

"I did" Tilly replied to him, as she locked arms with him. As they started to walk away from the bus stop.

"Then why haven't you got any shopping, because I honestly can't get out of Liverpool without buying something" George started horse laughing. Tilly just smiled back.

"Yeah well I can contain my urge" Tilly replied, with one arm out in an over the top posture. George was still horse laughing. He doesn't suspect of Tilly telling fibs, he thinks there is no reason for her to fib about something like this.

"You're a braver one then me" George replied, Phoebe eyes widened, as she scanned both of them.

As George, Tilly and Phoebe approached the pub, as they all walked in together. Tilly breaths, as she know's she will have to lie to Esther and she wished she didn't have to but there were no other way pass it without breaking her heart completely.

"Hey" Esther spoke, as she went from behind the counter. Walking over to her girlfriend who without much choice has been trying to make up a lie. Though Tilly said nothing, as she let Esther give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Are you alright?" Esther then asked, as Tilly looked slightly gone and not paying much attention to her.

"Never better" Tilly quickly replied, as she gave her a quick smile then sighed. Frankie was looking over, she still was scared of Tilly hurting Esther. Though she felt Jack put his hand on her shoulder.

"Stop worrying" Jack spoke, in his thick Scottish accent.

"I can't help it Jack" Frankie replied, turning towards him.

It was a couple of hours later, as Tilly was on her own now. She hasn't heard anything from Jen since Liverpool, but she was hoping that Jen would be the first to ring. As she was back at home, avoiding Esther because of her guilt.

Her phone rang, Tilly almost grabbed it straight away. Though her smile soon faded, it was just George. Tilly sighed, when will Jen call?


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the late update. Thanks again for the reviews :)**

Tilly kept tossing and turning all night, the heat was almost unbearable. As she slept on top of the blankets rather than under. Though the heat would not leave her alone, it was around eleven at night. Her phone went of, she grabbed it. The name came on her phone screen, _Jen. _

She clicked answer as soon as she saw it. Placing the phone against her ear.

_"What are you playing at?" a voice asked, though it did not belong to Jen._

_"Excuse me?" Tilly asked the familiar voice._

_"Look my sister doesn't know what is best for her Tilly" Liam replied to her, he was disgusted when he found out that his sister is doing all this again. _

_"Can I speak to Jen?" Tilly asked, not expecting his voice._

_"No you bloody well can't speak to Jen; I'm sorry Tilly, I love my sister and I don't want to see her going to jail, she wouldn't be able to cope in there" Liam presumed._

_"Well she won't go to jail if nobody finds out" Tilly insisted._

_"If you and Jen carry on this, this affair and if you two have an argument or if you're having a bad day, who knows what you could do; phone the police in one of your strops maybe" Liam really thought low of Tilly._

_"No, I would never shop her in over this" Tilly reassured him._

_"I wish I could believe that" Liam sighed. Tilly was finding it hard to try and persuade him. He has got understandable concerns about the whole thing._

_"I need to speak to Jen" Tilly told him. She took a breath, as she listened to his breathing which was sounded only a minor bit heavy._

_"I need to go" Liam spoke, with that the phone line was cut of._

Tilly took the phone away from her ear, she was not expecting that. Liam has no right to ban them from seeing one another even if he did have some sort of point. It was not his right to say, if they wanted to take the risk.

She looked down upon her phone, contemplating on how to go about this. She will wait a few hours than phone again.


End file.
